Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Resting in Peace
Mom finally passed to her eternal reward this morning at 5.30 with Dad at her side. She went very peacefully.
I will update with funeral arrangements.
Thank you for all of your prayers.
I will update with funeral arrangements.
Thank you for all of your prayers.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Still Waiting
What a long day. It is hard to believe it is only Tuesday. Everyone is exhausted due to lack of sleep. Pretty much no change for Mom today. She hasn't moved on her own other than a twitching finger now and again. She has not made any signs of understanding someone talking to her. The nurse listened to her heart and said it was still regular.
So we continue to wait, watch, and pray for her peaceful transition.
So we continue to wait, watch, and pray for her peaceful transition.
The End is Near
Mom really declined yesterday afternoon. She had a spell were she said that it was time to die and wanted God to hurry up. From that point she has been resting and has not spoken much. We have been spending all of our time with her praying and reading Scripture. Mom seems to have liked hearing Rita read from the family Bible.
Bruce arrived yesterday evening and has been with her ever since. Last night we were around her joking and laughing at some of the things that she has been saying. At times she had been very witty. You could tell that she wanted to laugh also but just had no strength. You could tell that she could hear and understand us, especially when she hears Dad or feels his touch.
Her body is going through the final stages of shutdown. Sometimes you can tell that she knows you are there with her and she'll squeeze your hand. Most of the time she is just laboring to breath. She doesn't seem like she is in any pain. The morphine has helped greatly. She just seems like she wants to go home and is impatiently waiting.
We've stayed with her through the night, taking short naps here and there (expect Kim, who promised Mom she would stay with her until the end and refuses to sleep or leave Mom for Mom's sake). We are thankful for the time we have been able to spend with her. Last night I was thinking of how similar to watching a woman in labor. You rush the hospital thinking something is going to happen. Then you hurry up and wait. The results are the same but different.
Bruce arrived yesterday evening and has been with her ever since. Last night we were around her joking and laughing at some of the things that she has been saying. At times she had been very witty. You could tell that she wanted to laugh also but just had no strength. You could tell that she could hear and understand us, especially when she hears Dad or feels his touch.
Her body is going through the final stages of shutdown. Sometimes you can tell that she knows you are there with her and she'll squeeze your hand. Most of the time she is just laboring to breath. She doesn't seem like she is in any pain. The morphine has helped greatly. She just seems like she wants to go home and is impatiently waiting.
We've stayed with her through the night, taking short naps here and there (expect Kim, who promised Mom she would stay with her until the end and refuses to sleep or leave Mom for Mom's sake). We are thankful for the time we have been able to spend with her. Last night I was thinking of how similar to watching a woman in labor. You rush the hospital thinking something is going to happen. Then you hurry up and wait. The results are the same but different.
Monday, August 9, 2010
After the Nurse visit Monday morning
Well, here is the latest. Mom was saying, "I want to go. I want to go" over and over again. We knelt next to her and told her it was okay and to tell Jesus "Hi" for us. She went on and on and would not settle down. Finally, Kim asked her, "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" "Yes, I have to go badly!"
The nurse came by and checked Mom. Lida said that she could tell a natural decline in Mom's state. She checked Mom's heart and lungs and said that they are strong. After looking more thoroughly at Mom, Lida thinks that Mom is having organ system shutdown. So some organs are failing and others, like the lungs and heart, are still working strongly. Lida said Mom may go on like this for a couple days.
She is at peace with everyone and desires to move on. She told Jesus to hurry up. Mom is still Mom.
The nurse came by and checked Mom. Lida said that she could tell a natural decline in Mom's state. She checked Mom's heart and lungs and said that they are strong. After looking more thoroughly at Mom, Lida thinks that Mom is having organ system shutdown. So some organs are failing and others, like the lungs and heart, are still working strongly. Lida said Mom may go on like this for a couple days.
She is at peace with everyone and desires to move on. She told Jesus to hurry up. Mom is still Mom.
The Final Countdown
Sunday was an interesting day. That morning Mom was running a fever so we called in the Hospice nurse, Lida. Mom was unable to eat any food nor take any medications and she was running a high fever. Lida was able to get a prescription of Morphine for Mom to help her feel comfortable and to rest. Lida said that in her opinion Mom may pass within 48 hours. Kim, Rita, and I have been spending all the time we can with Mom. Lenore came over in the evening and talked with Mom and tried to comfort her with cool cloths on her face.
It seems as if Mom has wrestled with the spirits and continues to hold on to life. Many have called and Mom has told them that she loves them. Mom will have an episode of mental anguish and then she would start praying. We would all stay close to her and pray with her. At one point she said that she saw Our Lord and we told her it was okay to go with him.
We spent the night with Mom, praying and trying to keep her comfortable. We know that the time is short. It is really hard on all of us seeing Mom suffering like she is and we hope and pray that she'll make her final journey soon.
It seems as if Mom has wrestled with the spirits and continues to hold on to life. Many have called and Mom has told them that she loves them. Mom will have an episode of mental anguish and then she would start praying. We would all stay close to her and pray with her. At one point she said that she saw Our Lord and we told her it was okay to go with him.
We spent the night with Mom, praying and trying to keep her comfortable. We know that the time is short. It is really hard on all of us seeing Mom suffering like she is and we hope and pray that she'll make her final journey soon.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Shopping for Mom
Friday, Dad and I went to the funeral to make prearrangements for Mom's big day. It was really an experience to be going through this with Dad, but I was glad I was there for him. It will be very simple, nothing flashy, and if Dad pays within 5 days he will get a 2% discount (that would make Mom happy). The nurse came by to check on Mom. Mom was in good spirits. She was joking, little jabs here and there. The nurse suggested giving her some Benedryl to help her sleep. Dad gave her one that evening and it seemed to help her sleep a little longer.
This morning when Kim was giving Mom her bath Kim noticed Mom's lips were puffy and that Mom was breaking out in hives all over her body. We called the Hospice nurse. She came to the house and determined that it was an allergic reaction to the Benedryl, of all things! So she's had a really bad afternoon. Her mobility has gone to nearly nothing. She could hardly move from her chair to the wheelchair in order to be taken to the bathroom.
Kim and I did get away this afternoon to do some more shopping for Mom. We went to Sears and bought a nice blouse that would go nicely with one of her vests. We also got some nice earrings and a necklace with a nice cross pendent. That was more emotional for me than going to the funeral home. As a teenager I always wanted to buy Mom jewelry for birthday and Christmas. It was really hard to buy something for her for this occasion.
We are all wondering what tomorrow will bring. It may be an interesting week.
This morning when Kim was giving Mom her bath Kim noticed Mom's lips were puffy and that Mom was breaking out in hives all over her body. We called the Hospice nurse. She came to the house and determined that it was an allergic reaction to the Benedryl, of all things! So she's had a really bad afternoon. Her mobility has gone to nearly nothing. She could hardly move from her chair to the wheelchair in order to be taken to the bathroom.
Kim and I did get away this afternoon to do some more shopping for Mom. We went to Sears and bought a nice blouse that would go nicely with one of her vests. We also got some nice earrings and a necklace with a nice cross pendent. That was more emotional for me than going to the funeral home. As a teenager I always wanted to buy Mom jewelry for birthday and Christmas. It was really hard to buy something for her for this occasion.
We are all wondering what tomorrow will bring. It may be an interesting week.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Not So Good
Mom didn't have a very good day today. In the morning she was moving very slowly and not in a very good mood. As the day went on things didn't get any better. Of course, Dad didn't sleep well last night so having to give Mom so much attention wasn't the easiest thing to do. Kim visited with them in the morning and in the afternoon. Stewart helped Dad in the garden while Kim was with Mom in the house. Later in the evening we had some thunderstorms roll through so we stayed at home instead of running our normal errands and making the weekly homage to Walmart. I went to visit with Mom and Dad. I was glad I did. Mom was having a rough time. She was really sad and needed some comforting. Dad had done all he could do. You could see the love and care in his eyes for Mom. It breaks his heart to she her having to suffer through this. I told her that I loved her and that I was there for her. After a little while of talking with her she finally calmed down and dozed off. Mom really feels helpless and hopeless. When Mom has an episode like this it is very taxing on Dad physically and emotionally. Please remember them in your prayers as I will. I will also pray that my wife will alway love me as much as I see Mom and Dad love each other.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
All Quiet on the Candlewick Front
Kind of a quiet day for a change. Kim stayed with Mom in the morning so Dad could go outside and take care of gardening. Mom had a decent day. She had trouble sleeping the night before so the nurse will talk to the doctor about getting some sleeping pills for her. Hopefully that will help her and Dad both sleep better. It's a little late tonight so it's hard to report anything. I'll probably have a little more to tell this weekend with Carla coming to visit. It'll be nice to see her since it's been yet a while.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Tuesday, Aug 3, 2010
Kim was able to help the aid with Mom. Mom seemed okay with it but I think Dad liked not having to deal with getting her ready in the morning. He was surprised at how quickly Kim and Lawanda got Mom ready. Maybe Lawanda will take a little longer next time so Dad can sit for a little while.
Mom and Dad had a surprise visit from Guy. Guy has a friend that has a plane and was able to fly him down for the day. Guy got to Mom and Dad's around 11.30 AM and was able to stay until 4.00 PM. Mom and Dad both were very happy to see Guy and spend a little time with him.
The social worker from Hospice also came by this afternoon while Guy was there. I don't exactly know what was discussed but she basically is trying to help Dad get things lined up for what comes next. Dad and I plan on visiting a funeral home and make arrangements for both him and Mom. This is something Dad has been wanting to do for quite a while and we've just procrastinated (who me?). Dad wants to find the cheapest pine box they have. Mom would probably want to use a coupon or wait for a BOGO sale if they had one.
Lenore did Mom and Dad's grocery shopping today and stayed for a visit in the evening. Kim, the boys, and I went down there this evening after our shopping. Fr. Bob, from St. Matthew Catholic Church, called Dad this evening and asked if he could come by for a visit. He came over while we were all there and administered the Anointing of the Sick to Mom. Unfortunately he had another sick call to go on and was only able to visit a short while.
Thus is the day in a nutshell. What will tomorrow bring??
Mom and Dad had a surprise visit from Guy. Guy has a friend that has a plane and was able to fly him down for the day. Guy got to Mom and Dad's around 11.30 AM and was able to stay until 4.00 PM. Mom and Dad both were very happy to see Guy and spend a little time with him.
The social worker from Hospice also came by this afternoon while Guy was there. I don't exactly know what was discussed but she basically is trying to help Dad get things lined up for what comes next. Dad and I plan on visiting a funeral home and make arrangements for both him and Mom. This is something Dad has been wanting to do for quite a while and we've just procrastinated (who me?). Dad wants to find the cheapest pine box they have. Mom would probably want to use a coupon or wait for a BOGO sale if they had one.
Lenore did Mom and Dad's grocery shopping today and stayed for a visit in the evening. Kim, the boys, and I went down there this evening after our shopping. Fr. Bob, from St. Matthew Catholic Church, called Dad this evening and asked if he could come by for a visit. He came over while we were all there and administered the Anointing of the Sick to Mom. Unfortunately he had another sick call to go on and was only able to visit a short while.
Thus is the day in a nutshell. What will tomorrow bring??
Tuesday, Aug 3, 2010
Mom told me this morning that she was tired of sleeping after her morning nap at 7.30. She said a funny about the aid that is coming this morning that I can't post...something about scrubbing her (the aid) clean. I'll let you figure out the rest. I'm home this morning to let Kim help the aid (Tawanda) and show her the ropes. The boys aren't feeling well so I've got them at the house and heading to the doctor this afternoon.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Many visitors today.
Today the nurses aid came to help Mom. Unfortunately she was unable to do anything other than a meet and greet. Kim was able to meet with her and offered to show her the ropes. Kim said she seemed very nice and Mom and Dad both like her. She will be able to help Mom dress and get cleaned up in the mornings of Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. This will be a big help to Dad.
The nurse also came to visit Mom. She will visit 3 times this week and next week in order to determine a baseline of her health. She had a nice talk with Kim afterwards and answered a few questions about Mom's kidney functions. She has Stage 4 CKD and are only working at approximately 29 percent.
Mom also had a visit from Pastor Bill, the Hospice chaplain. They had a nice visit. He said he may try to turn Mom's case over to the former chaplain who is Catholic. Regardless, Bill was still planning on visiting Mom and Dad to help them spiritually and emotionally at least a couple of times a month.
Kim was very glad that we only live four houses away because she made several trips up and down the street to meet all of these people. She will go down there tomorrow to help show the aid where everything is and how she has been helping Mom. We all went down there this evening and visited while the boys raced their scooters and bicycles up and down the driveway. Fortunately we only had one bad crash and a skinned up shoulder.
The nurse also came to visit Mom. She will visit 3 times this week and next week in order to determine a baseline of her health. She had a nice talk with Kim afterwards and answered a few questions about Mom's kidney functions. She has Stage 4 CKD and are only working at approximately 29 percent.
Mom also had a visit from Pastor Bill, the Hospice chaplain. They had a nice visit. He said he may try to turn Mom's case over to the former chaplain who is Catholic. Regardless, Bill was still planning on visiting Mom and Dad to help them spiritually and emotionally at least a couple of times a month.
Kim was very glad that we only live four houses away because she made several trips up and down the street to meet all of these people. She will go down there tomorrow to help show the aid where everything is and how she has been helping Mom. We all went down there this evening and visited while the boys raced their scooters and bicycles up and down the driveway. Fortunately we only had one bad crash and a skinned up shoulder.
Update on Mom
As some of you know, Mom is not doing well. She had a bad fall about 4 weeks ago (beginning of July) and it has caused her health to deteriorate more quickly. She had some bruising on her neck and back and was complaining of pain in her head. The doctor ordered an MRI (Tuesday, July 27th) and it showed everything was normal with the exception of a sinus infection.
The end of July proved to be very busy with family visits. Mary and Glen spent a long weekend. Glenn and Lizz and family visited for almost a whole week. Joan, Tim, and Brigid flew in for a couple of days. Rita flew in Thursday afternoon and left on Sunday. We even had an unexpected visit from Peter on Saturday. Mom and Dad both were really happy to have all of the company.
We met with Hospice Thursday the 29th at Dad's house to talk about having some in-home care for Mom. They will start with nurse visits and nurse's aid visits in August. It looks like they will be a big help for Dad.
Tim Wren has started a Facebook Group (Forthofer Family) for everyone to share pictures and notes. I'll do my best to maintain the blog. (I can't access Fb everywhere so this is easier for me)
The end of July proved to be very busy with family visits. Mary and Glen spent a long weekend. Glenn and Lizz and family visited for almost a whole week. Joan, Tim, and Brigid flew in for a couple of days. Rita flew in Thursday afternoon and left on Sunday. We even had an unexpected visit from Peter on Saturday. Mom and Dad both were really happy to have all of the company.
We met with Hospice Thursday the 29th at Dad's house to talk about having some in-home care for Mom. They will start with nurse visits and nurse's aid visits in August. It looks like they will be a big help for Dad.
Tim Wren has started a Facebook Group (Forthofer Family) for everyone to share pictures and notes. I'll do my best to maintain the blog. (I can't access Fb everywhere so this is easier for me)
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