Shopping for Mom

Friday, Dad and I went to the funeral to make prearrangements for Mom's big day.  It was really an experience to be going through this with Dad, but I was glad I was there for him.  It will be very simple, nothing flashy, and if Dad pays within 5 days he will get a 2% discount (that would make Mom happy).  The nurse came by to check on Mom.  Mom was in good spirits.  She was joking, little jabs here and there.  The nurse suggested giving her some Benedryl to help her sleep.  Dad gave her one that evening and it seemed to help her sleep a little longer.

This morning when Kim was giving Mom her bath Kim noticed Mom's lips were puffy and that Mom was breaking out in hives all over her body.  We called the Hospice nurse.  She came to the house and determined that it was an allergic reaction to the Benedryl, of all things!  So she's had a really bad afternoon. Her mobility has gone to nearly nothing.  She could hardly move from her chair to the wheelchair in order to be taken to the bathroom.

Kim and I did get away this afternoon to do some more shopping for Mom.  We went to Sears and bought a nice blouse that would go nicely with one of her vests.  We also got some nice earrings and a necklace with a  nice cross pendent.  That was more emotional for me than going to the funeral home.  As a teenager I always wanted to buy Mom jewelry for birthday and Christmas.  It was really hard to buy something for her for this occasion.

We are all wondering what tomorrow will bring.  It may be an interesting week.

Not So Good

Mom didn't have a very good day today.  In the morning she was moving very slowly and not in a very good mood.  As the day went on things didn't get any better.  Of course, Dad didn't sleep well last night so having to give Mom so much attention wasn't the easiest thing to do.  Kim visited with them in the morning and in the afternoon.  Stewart helped Dad in the garden while Kim was with Mom in the house.  Later in the evening we had some thunderstorms roll through so we stayed at home instead of running our normal errands and making the weekly homage to Walmart.  I went to visit with Mom and Dad.  I was glad I did.  Mom was having a rough time.  She was really sad and needed some comforting.  Dad had done all he could do.  You could see the love and care in his eyes for Mom.  It breaks his heart to she her having to suffer through this.  I told her that I loved her and that I was there for her.  After a little while of talking with her she finally calmed down and dozed off.  Mom really feels helpless and hopeless.  When Mom has an episode like this it is very taxing on Dad physically and emotionally.  Please remember them in your prayers as I will.  I will also pray that my wife  will alway love me as much as I see Mom and Dad love each other.

All Quiet on the Candlewick Front

Kind of a quiet day for a change.  Kim stayed with Mom in the morning so Dad could go outside and take care of gardening.  Mom had a decent day.  She had trouble sleeping the night before so the nurse will talk to the doctor about getting some sleeping pills for her.  Hopefully that will help her and Dad both sleep better.  It's a little late tonight so it's hard to report anything.  I'll probably have a little more to tell this weekend with Carla coming to visit.  It'll be nice to see her since it's been yet a while.

Tuesday, Aug 3, 2010

Kim was able to help the aid with Mom.  Mom seemed okay with it but I think Dad liked not having to deal with getting her ready in the morning.  He was surprised at how quickly Kim and Lawanda got Mom ready.  Maybe Lawanda will take a little longer next time so Dad can sit for a little while.

Mom and Dad had a surprise visit from Guy.  Guy has a friend that has a plane and was able to fly him down for the day.  Guy got to Mom and Dad's around 11.30 AM and was able to stay until 4.00 PM.  Mom and Dad both were very happy to see Guy and spend a little time with him.

The social worker from Hospice also came by this afternoon while Guy was there.  I don't exactly know what was discussed but she basically is trying to help Dad get things lined up for what comes next.  Dad and I plan on visiting a funeral home and make arrangements for both him and Mom.  This is something Dad has been wanting to do for quite a while and we've just procrastinated (who me?).  Dad wants to find the cheapest pine box they have.  Mom would probably want to use a coupon or wait for a BOGO sale if they had one.

Lenore did Mom and Dad's grocery shopping today and stayed for a visit in the evening.  Kim, the boys, and I went down there this evening after our shopping.  Fr. Bob, from St. Matthew Catholic Church, called Dad this evening and asked if he could come by for a visit.  He came over while we were all there and administered the Anointing of the Sick to Mom.  Unfortunately he had another sick call to go on and was only able to visit a short while.

Thus is the day in a nutshell.  What will tomorrow bring??

Tuesday, Aug 3, 2010

Mom told me this morning that she was tired of sleeping after her morning nap at 7.30.  She said a funny about the aid that is coming this morning that I can't post...something about scrubbing her (the aid) clean.  I'll let you figure out the rest.  I'm home this morning to let Kim help the aid (Tawanda) and show her the ropes.  The boys aren't feeling well so I've got them at the house and heading to the doctor this afternoon.

Many visitors today.

Today the nurses aid came to help Mom.  Unfortunately she was unable to do anything other than a meet and greet. Kim was able to meet with her and offered to show her the ropes.  Kim said she seemed very nice and Mom and Dad both like her.  She will be able to help Mom dress and get cleaned up in the mornings of Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.  This will be a big help to Dad.

The nurse also came to visit Mom.  She will visit 3 times this week and next week in order to determine a baseline of her health.  She had a nice talk with Kim afterwards and answered a few questions about Mom's kidney functions.  She has Stage 4 CKD and are only working at approximately 29 percent.

Mom also had a visit from Pastor Bill, the Hospice chaplain.  They had a nice visit.  He said he may try to turn Mom's case over to the former chaplain who is Catholic.  Regardless, Bill was still planning on visiting Mom and Dad to help them spiritually and emotionally at least a couple of times a month.

Kim was very glad that we only live four houses away because she made several trips up and down the street to meet all of these people.  She will go down there tomorrow to help show the aid where everything is and how she has been helping Mom.  We all went down there this evening and visited while the boys raced their scooters and bicycles up and down the driveway.  Fortunately we only had one bad crash and a skinned up shoulder.

Update on Mom

As some of you know, Mom is not doing well.  She had a bad fall about 4 weeks ago (beginning of July) and it has caused her health to deteriorate more quickly.  She had some bruising on her neck and back and was complaining of pain in her head.  The doctor ordered an MRI (Tuesday, July 27th) and it showed everything was normal with the exception of a sinus infection.

The end of July proved to be very busy with family visits.  Mary and Glen spent a long weekend.  Glenn and Lizz and family visited for almost a whole week.  Joan, Tim, and Brigid flew in for a couple of days.  Rita flew in Thursday afternoon and left on Sunday.  We even had an unexpected visit from Peter on Saturday.  Mom and Dad both were really happy to have all of the company.

We met with Hospice Thursday the 29th at Dad's house to talk about having some in-home care for Mom.  They will start with nurse visits and nurse's aid visits in August.  It looks like they will be a big help for Dad.

Tim Wren has started a Facebook Group (Forthofer Family) for everyone to share pictures and notes.  I'll do my best to maintain the blog.  (I can't access Fb everywhere so this is easier for me)